How do you honour someone you’re offended by?
You don’t, because you don’t think they deserve it. It’s easier to be offended than to be gracious, and that’s exactly the point. The enemy wants to trap you in what’s easier so you don’t get the benefit of what’s harder.
Indulging your flesh is always easier than building up your spirit, but if you want to have any chance of living a victorious life, you have to crucify your flesh, not indulge it.
This isn’t an excuse to tolerate abuse, manipulation, or any form of demonic control, but it is a call to guard your heart against the poison of offence. Whatever lives in your heart spills out of your mouth and manifests in your life.
Based on your current language and lifestyle, is your heart healthy or sick?
Of course it’s difficult to love someone who doesn’t love you. Of course it’s hard to honour someone who doesn’t honour you. And yes, it goes against the grain to show kindness to someone who’s constantly pushing your buttons because they’re so mean.
But what does Jesus say?
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect” (Matthew 5:43-48 NKJV).
Interestingly, the word perfect in Matthew 5:48 is the Greek word teleios, which means “complete, full grown, mature” (Blue Letter Bible). This is the character of Jesus, and it’s available to us when we grow to become more like Him and less like ourselves.
The Lord isn’t asking you to be a doormat without boundaries, principles, or a spine. He’s asking you to be a believer with “clean hands and a pure heart,” because that’s how you stay close to Him (Psalm 24:4 NKJV). Keeping your heart free of offence is keeping your heart pure, which allows you to “ascend into the hill of the LORD” and “stand in His holy place” (Psalm 24:3 NKJV).
Is there any hurt or offence worth jeopardising your relationship for?
Because that’s all offence is, you know. It’s a barrier between you and God. Have you ever noticed how hard it is to pray, worship, or read your Bible when you’re offended at someone? It almost feels unnatural in that moment, like it doesn’t suit your mood or circumstance, and that’s what makes it so dangerous. Anything that douses your fire and desire for God is your enemy, not your friend.
Why You Must Avoid Offence
I used to think that avoiding offence was so I could avoid being harassed by demons. I mean, Ephesians 4:26-27 says, “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil” (NKJV). I focused on verse 27 as the main reason to obey verse 26.
Here’s the thing with that, though: Avoiding offence is to preserve your intimacy with God and obedience to His Word.
Did you catch that?
Avoiding offence is to preserve your intimacy with God and obedience to His Word.
That means that choosing to harbour offence is choosing to distance myself from God because I disobey Him. I choose my flesh over God when I choose offence, and that’s what creates an opening for the enemy to come in.
Being offended is basically setting up little idols in your heart that vy for your attention and pull you away from the Lord. In that light, is any grudge really worth it?
Relationship matters so much to God that He sacrificed His only Son so we could be saved (John 3:16). God had every reason to be offended with humanity, but He chose to love us and save us instead. He could have just punished us for our sin with no way out, but He made a way for our redemption, restoration, and regeneration.
If we are His children, how do we respond when we’re hurt and offended?
Jesus tells us how to respond: with love, with grace, and with generosity. It seems foolish to human reasoning, but that’s what God did for us. That’s why Jesus died for us. Can you imagine dying for someone who hates you? I can’t, but Jesus dit it anyway.
What kind of love was strong enough to endure the agony and mockery of the Cross? The kind of love strong enough to defeat death, hell, and the grave, and bring broken hearts and bodies back to life.
The Beauty of Forgiveness
Overcoming offence is only possible through love in relationship with God and others. Forgiveness is a love offering to the Lord because you choose to obey His voice over the voice of your emotions or logic. You don’t forgive someone who offends you because they deserve it. You forgive them because God commands it (Colossians 3:12-14).
Forgiveness is a love offering to the Lord.
Do you want to know the beautiful thing about forgiveness? God releases grace to forgive so you can be free. You don’t need an apology from that person to finally feel good about yourself again. You need space in your heart to receive the love of God and be close to Him again.
Offence takes up space in your heart that blocks you up, but forgiveness opens up space in your heart that frees you up. God wants you close to His heart and filled with His love, not far from Him and filled with hate.
Because that’s what happens when you harbour offence for too long. It grows into bitterness, resentment, anger, and hatred. One offence attracts another and another, and before you know it, your once vibrant and soft heart has become hard, calloused, and dead. But there’s the better way, and that Way is Jesus.
A Prayer for You
If your heart is hurting from offence today, I pray that you’re healed by His love. May you receive the grace to forgive, to love, and to trust God to fight your battles for you.
I pray that your heart stays free of the burden and bitterness of offence, unforgiveness, and hatred. And I pray that you find refuge in the secret place under the shadow of His wings when you’re attacked by malice, slander, and wicked schemes (Psalm 57:1).
May your heart be soft enough to love at all times, even when it hurts, in Jesus’s Name. Amen.
Amen, Amen, Amen. I receive the prayer… ‘May you receive the grace to forgive, to love, and to trust God to fight your battles for you.’
Thank you Otiti, and remain blessed 🙌 😇 🙏
Amen and amen.
We bless God for His word and the grace to ‘preserve our intimacy with Him and obey His Word.’🙏🏿🙏🏿Thank God for your yieldedness Otiti. More grace dearie.
Auntie Aidevo!! 🤗🤗 Amen, thank you so much; I receive it. I really appreciate your comment. Hope to see you here again! 😁
Amen, Mum. You’re welcome! Thank you for reading 😊🤗 It’s a prayer we all need!