Category Archives: Open Heart

The Identity Series – 5

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Identity. What does it mean in today’s society? How do you protect yours when you discover it? How does it affect your goals and dreams? In my first post on the Identity Series, I said I’d tackle these questions. Time for me to make good on my statement, no?

I think identity is a function of perception in today’s society. You try to fit into a group or category if you like what you see. You try to belong because you believe in gaining something that’s on offer. Your perception determines your action and your action determines your identity. You are what you accept. As such, it is important to know the difference between what you willingly accept and what others force upon you. After all, how can you really claim to be living your life if you only do what other people say you should? It is not your life anymore, just an extension of theirs. In the same vein, it’s not your identity either but also an extension of theirs. Now why should you allow that, hmm? Live it, do it, feel it for you; those are the basic principles for genuine satisfaction and contentment. Anything less just isn’t good enough. Continue reading →

The Identity Series – 4

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My good friend Dami was the first person to send me feedback on the Identity Series. Come to think of it, he was the very first person to send an email with his thoughts on my blog. So before I go any farther, I’d like to say a special ‘thank you’ once again. :)
The following is an excerpt from his last email on The Identity Series – 3:

If the environment has the potential to define or categorise me, how do I break out?
 
If my subconscious yearns for something greater, how do I trust it?
 
In all, how do I define myself apart from the parameters that have defined me in the past?
 
I am asking these questions because a series like these should be a platform to answer questions lurking in people’s minds. I should find laid down principles and answers if I were to be a hopeless or dejected person looking for direction. So my challenge to you is to guide me, not necessarily help me, find my identity and trust my person or like you say; be comfortable in my own skin.! Continue reading →

Have Faith

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Often times when you’re poised on the verge of breakthrough, there’s a loud voice of doubt that tries to drown out the hopes of your dreams. Doubt weighs you down, smothers you, makes you question if you can really achieve that for which you strive. Whenever you hear that voice of doubt, stay strong and shout “YES I CAN!”

You can do whatever you choose to accomplish. I read somewhere that our dreams are limited only by the scope of our imagination and the truth of those words struck me. After all, how can you do something if you can’t envision it? How can you reach the pinnacle if you can’t imagine it? I believe I’ve said before that fear is only natural because we’re human; with that in mind, fear and doubt are interchangeable forces that try to rob you of precious blessings.

Don’t listen to them. Have faith in yourself. Have faith in your talent, your gifts, your ambition, and your heart. Have faith to silence the voice of doubt. Have faith to calm the fear. Have faith to stand up and work towards your vision. Have faith to follow your dreams and live them every day. And when it seems like you can’t go on anymore, when you feel like you’ve used up every ounce of ability and endurance, have the faith to tap into the infinite well of strength slumbering within you. Believe that you can move forward.

I speak these words to myself even as I speak them to you. I have struggled with self-esteem and self-confidence. I have felt I didn’t matter and I wasn’t loved. Personal trials have made me doubt beauty, truth, love, even the existence of God. I’m here to tell you that those same trials are now opening my eyes to things I would never have imagined otherwise. I’m here to tell you that there are times you need to bleed before you can shine; times you must go through fire so it purifies you, times you must find yourself so far down there’s no other place to go but up. Sometimes you need to change direction in order to take the right path and it might require drastic measures to make the right changes happen.

Dare to think without boundaries. Dare to seek your truth and shine with the brightness itching to burst forth from within you. Learn from every tear. Bounce back from every setback. Cultivate a positive outlook that turns every obstacle into a stepping stone. Life is a journey with twists and turns and you must adapt to thrive in every situation.

When I say thrive, I don’t mean to simply do well within certain confines. I mean to flourish beyond your expectations, to let your spirit bloom and grow in leaps and bounds. I mean to choose to excel and refuse to settle for anything less. I mean to avoid mediocrity like the plague and have no time for negativity. I mean to build resources that cheer you up when you’re sad and light your path when you’re surrounded by darkness. You are what you accept, so why accept anything but the best and most fulfilled version of yourself? Everything you need is already within you; you just need to discover it. There’s so much swirling beneath the surface. Take the time to tap into your creativity and inspiration is sure to follow.

Dare yourself today. Have faith. Shalom.

The Identity Series – 3

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How do you discover your true self? How do you ascertain that you are living in line with your own principles? I know we’re all influenced to some extent by our family and peers, but ultimately we choose who and what we want to be. So, I ask again. How do you discover your true self?

I believe that question arises because we often know exactly what we are, we just choose to deny it. Can’t really change anything unless you acknowledge it, right? So if you realise a dark or shocking side to yourself and refuse to address it, it clouds your ability to understand its origin(s) and solution(s). In other words, there’s an inner voice that whispers the deepest secrets of the soul; many of us just choose to drown it out for fear of what we’ll hear. But that only delays the inevitable, doesn’t it? Suppress something long enough and it’ll explode out of control one day. Funny thing is, such explosions never come at convenient times. Bothersome, really.

Before you retort that it’s simplistic to presume an inner voice is all you need to discover yourself, think about it. Why are some people so confident, so comfortable in their own skin? Why is it that nothing shakes their belief in themselves? They’ve invested time and effort in extracting the essence of their character from their subconscious. They’ve examined their desires and identified a common pattern, one that allows them determine the reasons for those desires and the wisdom of satisfying such wants. But most importantly, they’ve accepted their identities. No shrinking back, no suppression, and no denial; they embrace all they are and change whatever doesn’t suit them.

I’ve already said environment and upbringing are great influences on one’s identity, but they are still less powerful than your innermost desires. The soul is a mystical and awesome entity; it is also the single greatest determinant of one’s personality. This is why those who comprise the “masses” are indistinguishable from one another; they all subscribe to the same way of thinking and have no ideas or opinions of their own. Notice how products strive for mass appeal in order to interest the largest possible slice of the population? Same principle. It follows then, that identity’s meaning in today’s society is a knotty issue. Inasmuch as you want to fit in and belong somewhere, you also want to remain true to yourself. It’s about finding the balance between being your own person and remaining a part of your community at the same time. Feel me?

And that’s all for now, please come again for more in The Identity Series. 😀 Agree with or oppose anything I’ve said? Feel free to leave your comments underneath this post or send your emails to findotitihere@hotmail.com Thank you for reading and please share your thoughts. Later, people.

The Identity Series – 2

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Identity is universal. Every human who walks this earth seeks it in one form or the other. We wish to know who we are, where we belong, and what purpose we serve. It is the desire to know oneself: the strengths and weaknesses, virtues and vices, preferences and pet peeves. Society gives the growing individual a collective identity, one that binds us to our families, communities, and countries.

The need for an individual identity  becomes important at some point in our lives, one that differs for each person and also lasts for varying lengths of time. Some people never really know who they are because they spend their lives copying others and trying to have the most popular or stylish opinions and views out there. They rarely stop to ask, “Is this me? Do I agree with this? Do I believe this?”, so how can they know they have no identities of their own? Continue reading →

The Identity Series – 1

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Hey, people. It’s been a while. How’s everyone doing, good? Hope so. My apologies for being quiet since my last post *embarrassed face*. Anyway, I’m here to make amends!

So I have an idea for a series on identity, hence the title of this post. I find myself asking a lot of questions about life and where we’re headed, and it seems like identity is a defining factor of one’s fate and/or one’s actions. Does that make sense?

I just feel you must know who you are as a person before you can achieve anything truly great and memorable. Every known icon always has an incredibly strong sense of self, is fully aware of his or her true personality, and is never afraid to act based on personal convictions even if/when they clash with popular belief. Alexander the Great, Cleopatra, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Rosa Parks, Cher, and Marilyn Monroe are just a few examples of strong individuals who were confident enough to challenge the status quo and pursue their dreams. It is my belief that they wouldn’t be part of our history today if they lacked identity and faith in their personal abilities.

The Identity Series is an exploration of identity itself. What does it mean in today’s society? How do you protect yours when you discover it? How does it affect your goals and dreams? These are some of the questions I’ll be tackling, so feel free to join in and let me know your thoughts! 😀 Maybe I should set up an email for this blog to enable feedback and stuff, yeah? Leave me a comment if you think I should! Oh yeah, I’m also on Twitter. You can follow me @findotitihere

The longer you hesitate, the faster windows of opportunity shrink and disappear. Make your move today! Thank you for reading and please come back soon. Ciao ciao. :)

The Promise

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There will be times when we can barely stand each other, when we must separate and give room for the bitterness to pass.
I promise to return after those times.

There will be situations that test the strength of our bond, the depth of our intimacy, and the breadth of our love.
I promise to hold you during those times.

There will be conflicts and clashes, spats and fights, brutal battles and bloodshed.
I promise to remain your ally even when we feel like enemies.

There will be challenges that make you doubt your abilities and worth as a human being.
I promise to support you through those challenges.

There will be disappointments and let-downs, grief and pain.
I promise to dry your tears.

I will love you and be by your side as long as I draw breath.
I promise.

The Quest for Fulfilment

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It is a constant journey. We never stop searching for that special moment, that point in time when everything is simply perfect and we couldn’t ask for more. Not yet, anyway. ^_^

Seriously though, the quest for fulfilment is never-ending. The addict finds it in his next fix so he goes back for another and another and another; the scientist finds it when she proves her new theory or solves that mind-numbingly hard equation; a mother gets it as she watches her kid grow and develop; and you get it as you do … well, whatever it is that you do. My point is it’s something you need from the day you become aware of your surroundings until the day you shuffle off this mortal coil. Anyone who claims otherwise is a faker.

Why else do we try so many different things? Why are we drawn to all sorts of people and situations and experiences? You seek the perfect fit, a source of joy and contentment, the sense that you are now whole and complete. It is a continuous yearning for something more, more in an intangible way you can’t explain or quantify, more that you need before you can live and not merely exist, more that elevates each day from the regular to the extraordinary.

There is no magic formula. There isn’t a foolproof method sure to work for every single one of us. Oh, and just in case I’m wrong about that, feel free to share whatever it’s supposed to be. 😀 Anyway, where was I? Ah, yes.

Fulfilment is an intensely personal affair. You must find your own road; you cannot use another’s yardstick as your own measure for happiness. Yes there may be general guidelines applicable to every human being, but the specifics are left for you to discover on your own. I reiterate, on your own. This is why our parents must give us room to grow, why we must allow our children their freedom, and why it is a terrible thing to force your views/opinions on anyone else. You have to try, fail, and try again. Try, try until you either find your niche or carve one for yourself. The day you give up is the day you die inside and cease to live; from that point onwards, you simply exist without the spark of hope to guide you on your search. Dreary prospect, innit?

So, as you continue on your quest for fulfilment, please remember: if it is only in a bottle, a needle, or the arms of various partners, then it’s not real. It is temporary, fleeting, tantalising, and a destructive mutation of the real thing. In other words, negative/harmful substances and liaisons do not provide sustenance. They only whet your appetite for more and trick you into the mindset that you can find the perfect balance to finally fill the void within. It never works out that way. Witness those who trod that path and died as they tried.

OK, that was a bit macabre. I guess I’m just trying to say that positive and healthy methods are the best ones for lasting contentment. Travel, romance, dance, friendship, family ties, sports, music, art … these options are endless. Those are my thoughts, anyway. Stay safe, friends.

Guilty Innocents

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How often do we punish our loved ones for crimes they didn’t commit? We tend to carry forward the hurt and bitterness from culprits in the past and poison our present relationships, much to the dismay of those who have done no wrong but suffer anyway; those are the guilty innocents who pay the price for the sins of others.

I’m just saying, it’s not fair on them. You know? Just because you’ve been burned shouldn’t mean you close yourself off forever after. Feel the pain, work through the hurt, keep it moving.

What if you were continuously doubted or distrusted because someone had baggage? I doubt you’d be impressed, right? Right. Same thing applies here.

I don’t know, I was just thinking about it and I feel we shouldn’t hold on to past experiences that laid us low or ripped us apart. What’s the point? If anything it prevents the wounds from healing and keeps the pain fresh. Imagine picking a scab and not letting it seal over to form a scar; the wound stays open, you know? The ache continues. Unnecessary hassle, people, totally unnecessary.

So. The next time you lash out at anyone, ask yourself this: are you seeing that person or a shadow from your past?

Acrobatic Cerebra

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I once read that we don’t use up to 10% of our brains. OK I’m not exactly sure about the percentage, but something like that anyway. Made me wonder how that’s possible, I mean we do so much every single day and yeah it may not be rocket science but surely all that activity would take up a large portion of the brain? Apparently not.

I believe it’s worthwhile to challenge your mind. For some reason I’m all about intellectual stimulation and tasking oneself to improve on a regular basis. I mean, each of us has so much potential, you know? But we let it lie dormant, we only tap into it occasionally and even then just for a short period. Or am I generalising? Maybe. When you really think about it, though, do you truly push yourself to flex your cerebral muscles? You do? How neat. :)

Acrobatic Cerebra. The brain is an incredibly important asset. Let’s keep it limber.