Greetings. For those who’ve noticed, I’m a little behind on my posts for Reverb11. This is because I’m changing the way I respond to the prompts and keeping the results to myself. I find that the longer I participate, the deeper and more personal my posts become. Being a rather private and somewhat shy person (yes, it’s true), baring my soul to the world on a daily basis is a bit more than I can handle right now.

So! Even though I won’t write about it anymore, I’m still a participant. This project has definitely given me a clearer picture of 2011 and increased my awareness of 2012. Not in a “I have to make these resolutions work” kind of way, but more like “these are the things I will achieve.” Feel me?

I’d like to say a huge thanks to Carolyn Rubenstein and Tiffany Moore for hosting this reflection course, and also to my fellow bloggers who have shared their experiences one post at a time.

I seriously considered not reacting to the following prompt. Who ever wants to discuss their mistakes in public, right? That said, here goes.

12. Mistakes
It’s easy to focus on our mistakes—to reflect with 20/20 hindsight and berate ourselves for what went wrong. Bring your awareness to a mistake you’ve made over the past year. Unveil one positive lesson from that mistake. How can you actively use this lesson moving forward?

I noticed I kept giving so-called “friends” the benefit of the doubt loooong after they deserved it. It’s all well and good to be fair-minded towards others but there’s a limit to accepting bad behaviour, yes? Sooner or later you gotta call them out on it or remain a doormat for the duration of the friendship/relationship/whatever it is you have going on at that point. Oh, and you also have to stand your ground when you confront them because they will try to pass it off as nothing much. Don’t be fooled! Stay strong!

There’s no need to bend over backwards for anyone who takes me for granted and expects me to do all the work. It’s OK for me to cut my losses and get the hell out. It’s OK to identify the BS and refuse to take it. You know, keep it real or keep it moving. So even though I won’t stop giving others the benefit of the doubt, I do intend to withdraw my generosity if it’s abused. Fair enough, innit?

Something tells me today’s post is going to be short. Really, really short. Maybe it’s because I don’t know how to respond to this prompt? Hmm.

11. Anticipation
What is the one thing that you are most looking forward to in 2012?

Hadn’t thought about it, really. I guess it’d be learning how to drive, though. I don’t know if I’ll get the chance to travel or not, otherwise that would have been my most anticipated activity. I love travel, just love it. I dream of touring European cities and soaking up diverse cultures. I want to walk the streets of Rome and look down on Paris from the top of the Eiffel Tower. Dance all night in Madrid and wake up in Barcelona. Oh wait, this post should be about driving. Ahem.

I’ve been behind the wheel in the past and it was thrilling. OK, so maybe I kept my speed really low and barely crawled along the asphalt, but I was movinga car! Somehow I managed to get through college and my teenage years without acquiring a driver’s license. It’s ridiculous I’m still without one, so I’m definitely stoked about changing that in 2012.

Above illustration by the talented Yulia Brodskaya

source: imgfave.com

So I think yesterday’s prompt was a fun one!

9. Superpower
If you were a superhero, what would your power be?

Mine would definitely be flying. Totally, absolutely, without a doubt. There are times I dream about it. I’ve always been fascinated by superheroes who could fly and totally envious of fictional human characters who had wings. I mean, where do I have to sign up to get me some?! LOL. I think I’d prefer to sprout my wings as I need them and not have them out all the time, though. Oh, and they’d be translucent; white is kinda overdone and black is just plain freaky. Other colours don’t pack the same visual punch as those two, y’know?

Seriously, though. I believe the ability to fly is so freeing, so exhilarating. Imagine being able to zip through the clouds or float around on a lazy day; running your fingers through a rainbow because you’re high enough to touch it and its ephemeral beauty leaving you in awe; racing an eagle or a falcon because your wings rock too, dammit. 😀 Heh heh heh.

via pinterest

This is a tough one. Reverb11 definitely makes you face the truth whether you want to or not.

8. Limits
We often learn about our limits the hard way. Were there any limits you realized this past year? Alternately, what self-imposed limits were you able to move beyond this year?

Life won’t always pander to my desires and expectations. I can’t make other people feel the same way I do if they’re simply not interested. It’s practically impossible for them to carve time out from their “busy” schedules if they couldn’t be arsed. After all, it’s not about what we say but what we do. Fact.

“Words are mere bubbles of water, but deeds are drops of gold.” – Chinese proverb

That said, it’s getting easier to look past all that and live without clinging to anyone. Why force it if it ain’t true, right? Just doesn’t make any sense to put oneself out there without being met halfway. Less grief and whatnot. The greatest freedom is to shrug off manipulation: make your own decisions, live your own life, and defend your right to do so with everything you have.

source:  Carolyn Rubenstein

Yes, I’m back on track now. I didn’t have internet access for a couple days and it totally threw off my rhythm. Anyway!, let me get cracking. Here’s the prompt for the seventh day:

7. Giving
“The purpose of life is to discover your gift. The meaning of life is to give your gift away.” (David Viscott) What is your gift to give?

Hmm. My gift, huh? I’d have to go with awareness and expression. I feel most alive and in tune with myself whenever I explore those two concepts. It’s usually through my blog but could also be in my journal or my poetry. I believe they are my gifts to give because I’m constantly thinking of new ways to shed light on old problems of choice, lifestyle, and overall contentment. The Musings of My Soul came about as a result of all that introspection and a great need to share. My loved ones tell me I think too much, LOL. It’s not exactly something I can help ’cause it’s hardwired into my being. Descartes said it best: Cogito ergo sum. “I think, therefore I am.”