How I Want It All to Feel

I spent some time last night trawling through Danielle LaPorte‘s archive for 2009. Being at a loose end for the evening and not in the mood to study or write, I figured I’d soak up the beauty of her words and marvel at her knowledge.

One post in particular made me reach for my journal and pour my heart out. plan to feel was a call to do exactly that: feel. How do you want to feel? What do you want to feel? I wrote the following in a matter of seconds as it became clear to me that I wanted to feel:

Connected. Content. Full. Succulent. Ripe. Blissed-out. Delicious. Magnificent. Sharp. Energised. Meaningful. An unfurling of my desires. Budding, growing. Branching out and living straight from my gut. Light from my core. Wind in my bones. Continue reading

Burn that Boat!

Every week or so, Danielle LaPorte asks a Burning Question designed to make you stop and think: “Why am I doing this? Why do I want that? What will happen if I don’t do that?”

I’m a bit late because this is last week’s question (ahem), but anyway here it is:

what boat do you need to burn? a testimony to your future

To tell the truth, I think a part of me was resisting writing this post. Because the question went straight for my solar plexus. Because it smacked me upside the head and said “Otiti, you HAVE to stop doing this!”, then gathered me in for a hug and promised it would be OK. Notice how long it’s taking me to say what damn boat I’m burning?

(Inhale). Here goes.

I’m burning the boat of needing. I’m burning the boat of need. I’m turning into ash the concept that I need x to do y before I can be happy and/or fulfilled.

I need you to love me so I can validate my self-worth.

I need you to cut me some slack so I can feel better about myself.

I need to drop a dress size or two so I can feel really sexy.

Not anymore.

I choose to love me as I am and know my self-worth is immeasurable.

I choose to show up and do the work. No excuses. No handicaps.

I choose to be foxy right now, dammit, because there’s no such thing as the perfect weight or figure for all women; there’s only the perfect weight for me.

Need is an insidious thing. It swallows your power and makes you dependent on external factors + influences to be on top of your game. Ironically, it’s also a safe zone because you know exactly what you’ll get when you do certain things. Only problem is, it’s never really enough, is it? You’ll always need more. And more. And more.

Clutching need like a life raft ends today. It ends here. It ends now.

I need nothing. I have everything.

And you? What boat are you gonna burn?

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