You Can Choose

Posted on August 24, 2012 by Otiti

You can choose to bend your back under the burdens of feeling incompetent, operating from scarcity and despair. Stagnant.

You can choose to bow your head and fix your eyes on the ground under the weight of never being good enough for yourself or anybody else.

You can choose to live on your knees, trapped in the dark hole of your circumstances and your mind.

Or.

You can choose to rise.

You can choose to climb.

You can choose to drop the weights and make them your bridge to greatness.

You can choose to get on your feet and fight your way out of the dark.

You can choose to raise your head, straighten your spine, and face down every feeling of less than or not good enough.

You can choose to slice through your reserve and say the things you really want to say. Do the things you really want to do. Feel the things you really want to feel.

You can choose to free yourself.

You can choose to value your growth and expansion more than you value your comfort.

Choice. Intention. Action. Reaction. A consciousness that your behaviour creates your present and your future. Might as well operate from a richness of spirit, eh?

There is always a choice: action or inaction; victory or defeat; blend with your power or blend with your fear.

Blending with your power strengthens you, sharpens your identity, emboldens you to flow with your challenges and stay fluid enough to find lasting solutions.

Blending with your fear depletes you, sucks you dry, blurs the shape of your identity and leaves you at the mercy of whatever challenge you encounter, both big and small.

You can choose to ask for help when you don’t have the answers.

You can choose to spark your soul fire and guard it fiercely against those who would douse it.

You can choose to go deeper than most and trust that you’re capable of handling whatever’s buried within.

You can choose.

What’s your choice? Will you decide to flourish, not because anyone says so or pushes you to, but for yourself? I hope your answer’s yes.

Mine is. Yes.

Poster credit: Karen Salmansohn

Voice Your Soul

Posted on May 24, 2012 by Otiti

“Lovely lady, I’m sitting on the bus having gone wow at the beauty, insight & courage of your writing!! The world needs to read this . . .”

My new friend and soul sister Marie Milligan said that to me on Twitter after she visited my blog for the first time and read The Bonds Between You and I. She later asked me how I write the way I do and if my English degree had anything to do with it. University certainly polished my skills but I’d like to think the raw talent was there all along, ha ha. 😀

So she made a special request for a post on How to Write From the Soul. The idea is to encourage those who feel they have something to say but don’t know how to say it, or if they’re even ready to say it. At the risk of claiming to know the answer to instantly fabulous writing, I’ll do my best to make this less about me and more about you. So, here goes.

I believe we all have a story waiting to be told. A truth, a yearning, something we must express to feel free, to feel true, to feel real. We long to be seen and heard, but we worry that our story isn’t interesting or witty or juicy enough. So we shut it in. We shut our voice in. And our spirits wilt with every passing moment. Continue reading →

Rise

Posted on February 10, 2012 by Otiti

Rise.

With a war cry mighty in power and a fighting spirit fierce with resolve.

Willing to risk it all on one shot, one chance to vault into greatness and radical fulfilment.

Knowing that now is the perfect time, the only time, really, to bounce back and claim your heritage.

Standing tall like you’re supposed to, like you were made to, as you were born to.

Armed with courage to eclipse every obstacle and withstand every fear.

Brave with the fire of purpose and the strength of determination.

Ready to seize the incredible and nail the phenomenal.

Rise, rise, and let your spirit soar wild and free.

Man is so made that whenever anything fires his soul, impossibilities vanish.

La Fontaine

And if not now, when?

Talmud

Acceptance

Posted on March 20, 2011 by Otiti

Knowledge is power. Acceptance is freeing. No matter how much something hurts or how bad you feel about a certain person and/or situation, acceptance lets you make peace with yourself.

When you realise that there is absolutely nothing to be done, you stop waiting in vain. You shake off ghosts and shadows from the past, lay to rest the hope of breathing life into wholly dead ties. I’m not saying accept negativity or anything, I’m just saying acknowledge the truth and deal with it. Face it, absorb it, keep moving forward.

There are times to fight, to retreat, to hold on, and then, to just let go. The key is to know the difference and act accordingly. Make room for those willing, waiting, wanting to make room for you too.

Was I Wrong?

Posted on March 12, 2011 by Otiti

Was I wrong to try, to believe? Was it folly to think we could ever be? I sit here and wonder if I’m the only one wanting what could, what should have been. We were fated for each other! Well, that’s what I thought for many years. Looks like I was wrong about that too. *Shrug* So what else is new?

I tell myself I’m not waiting anymore, try to accept that it’s time to move on and forget you, but I can’t do it. I just can’t. You’re always there. It doesn’t matter where I run or how hard I try to ignore it. You are right there under my skin: waiting, biding your time, safe in the knowledge that I can’t escape you. Or can I?

It’s just so frustrating not knowing how you really feel. I can only ask so many times, I mean it’s not like I ever get a clear answer or feel any better. Maybe it amuses you to treat me like a plaything, I don’t know. We’ve become strangers to one another and I’m struggling to adjust. How’d that even happen, anyway?

I ache for you. I long for you. But you’re poison in my system and I must, I must be free from this longing. I must be free of this pain. It would be easier if I could hate you but I can’t even do that. I can only love you from afar. That’s not enough anymore. So, what now?

I have done my time. I am tired. There’s no point, no reason to nurse hope. You have made your choice, now I must make mine. Once again, I’ll try to say goodbye. I’ll try to live as though a part of me isn’t missing, as if the void within doesn’t exist.

Anyway. My struggle continues. I don’t expect you to notice or care that I’m gone, don’t even expect you to want me. That time is past. Pity, really.

Your Voice

Posted on December 17, 2010 by Otiti

Everybody has something to say. More often than not, though, we only hear the thoughts of those with the loudest or most strident voices. I guess it’s somewhat inevitable since there’re so many different ideas out there and only so much time people are willing to spare to listen amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life. Because some speak louder than others, eventually their ideas become our mantras. Now how did that happen?

You have a voice. Speak your truth. High volume does not necessarily indicate proper thought or correct reasoning. It’s not about how loud you are, it’s about what you have to say. It is easy to have one’s voice drowned out by the ideology of others, but it is much more rewarding to make oneself clear and distinct even in all the hubbub.

You have a voice. Speak your truth. You can, and you shall, be heard.

perfection by Dan Pearce

Posted on November 14, 2010 by Otiti

As a warning, the following post was written in complete desperation. I have recently learned some very sobering truths from people that I love dearly. These truths have set in motion a quest within me to do whatever I can to make a change. Today is not geared at funny. Today is geared at something greater. Read it to the very end. I promise you will be affected in a way you have always needed to be. I spent more than twelve hours writing this post because its message is that important to me.

I wonder. Am I the only one aware that there is an infectious mental disease laying siege on us right now? There is a serious pandemic of “Perfection” spreading, and it needs to stop. Hear me out because this is something for which I am passionately and constantly hurting. It’s a sickness that I’ve been trying to put into words for years without much success. It’s a sickness that I have personally struggled with. It’s a sickness that at times has left me hiding in dark corners and hating myself.

And chances are it’s hit you too.

What is the disease called “Perfection”? Perhaps a list of its real-life symptoms will help you better understand it. We live in communities where people feel unconquerable amounts of pressure to always appear perfectly happy, perfectly functional, and perfectly figured. “Perfection” is much different than perfectionism. The following examples of “Perfection” are all real examples that I have collected from experiences in my own life, from confidential sources, or from my circle of loved ones and friends. If you actually stop to think about some of these, you will cry as I did while writing it. If you don’t, maybe you’re infected with way too much of this “Perfection” infection. Continue reading →

Trapped in Time

Posted on November 4, 2010 by Otiti

This one’s been percolating in my mind for a while now. I find myself dwelling on the past, reliving certain events and phases over and over and over again, and I realise that I’m trapped in time. Memories, people, emotions….even though many things have changed and are no longer applicable to my present, I still treat them like they’re breaking news. Can we all say “denial” together?

I wonder why I keep trying to resurrect past emotions, ties, friendships, and alliances. I can’t understand why I expect things to remain the same when I know for a fact that change is the only constant. I’m so tired of thinking in the same loop and promising myself that “I have to stop”.

That said, I really will stop living in the past. I doubt it’ll be easy, though. Even if it seems incredibly difficult, nothing in life worth having is easily achieved. Or something like that, anyway.

Letting go….

Posted on January 27, 2010 by Otiti

Tough, innit? It’s really hard for me to admit that sometimes, no matter how much you love them, there’re inevitably parts of your life that you just have to leave behind: old clothes you used to love but never wear anymore; CDs you thought were IT when you got ’em but wouldn’t be caught dead near any now; and my least favourite, letting people go.

The first two concern inanimate objects so hey, it’s really not that bad after a while. Gotta clear out the clutter every now and then, right? The hardest part, however, is when you find that said clutter contains damaged relationships and bittersweet memories. Imagine investing time and emotion and effort, over and over again, nurturing a friendship and/or relationship for years and thinking that things are watertight. I mean, you guys have a blast, love each other, are there for each other, and so on. But then things start happening, start changing, start eroding, start ending. Continue reading →

Otiti Jasmine

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