Sometime ago, I found myself struggling with feeling unworthy and below par compared to my peers and role models. A constant loop of negativity and self-criticism kept playing in my head until I was ready to scream my heart hoarse just to ease the pain and silence the bullying (because that’s what it really is).
So instead, I decided to write affirmations of how I wanted to feel, of what I believed to be true even though my lizard brain tried to convince me otherwise.
I share them with you today because everyone gets stuck in a rut sometimes. Everyone feels down and lagging behind on what they can/should/ought to have done or accomplished, and we’re all missing one truly important thing: WHAT ABOUT RIGHT NOW?
Most of our angst stems from being stuck in the past or fretting hard about the future.
So today, right here, right now, take this moment to be present right where you are. Get out of your head and into your heart. Break free of the blame game and regret and lift your head up to the sky. As you do so, remember:
You are beautiful. You are worthy. You are enough. You are strong. You are capable. You are able. You are. You are.
If you’re like me and living through something that’s weighing you down, challenging you, testing you, I know how you feel. Major depression and post-traumatic stress disorder rear their heads in my life every day. Every single day.
But I don’t let them define me or dictate how I live my life. I don’t let them rob me of awesome opportunities to connect with people and share my heart and love with the world. I DON’T LET THEM BREAK ME.
Instead, I read over my affirmations and reach out to my support network. I spend time with my loved ones. I pray when I can and ask for constant renewal of my faith and strength.
A lot of people don’t understand what I experience or why I even experience these things in the first place, and that’s OK. It’s not about garnering sympathy and begging for pity votes. It’s not about hiding my pain so I don’t scare away people who can’t handle or understand it. It’s definitely not about publicising my health challenges so the world can cut me some slack and not stress me too much.
It’s about being real and speaking my truth. It’s about rising above the trauma of the past and being grateful for the blessings of the present. It’s about wearing my heart on my sleeve and knowing that no one can crush it even if they try because I am grounded in acceptance of and love for myself.
It’s about showing up whenever I can, however and wherever I can, because I’ve been there and I know what it’s like to scream so hard your chords tear because there’s no other way to let out the pain.
I know what it’s like to sob silently for 2 hours because you don’t want anyone else to hear but the tears won’t stop falling. I know. I know.
I’ve been there. I still stumble there sometimes. And that’s why I can nourish and inspire your soul because my offerings can do for you what I wish someone had done for me in my darkest times when I was all alone and away from my family. If someone had just held a safe space for me and accepted me as I was, listened to me as I was, maybe I wouldn’t have suffered as much or for as long as I did.
I can’t help but root for you because I’ve learned the value and hidden power of empathy. Not sympathy or pity, but empathy. Compassion. Understanding. A safe space to let you express yourself and work it all out of your system.
By the way, I did eventually get those through therapy but by then the roots were realllly deep. Don’t wait that long if you’re there, okay?
So my dear friend, whatever you’re going through right now is NOT you. You are not that divorce. You are not that break-up. You are NOT that miscarriage. You are NOT that job redundancy or umpteenth rejection letter from the publisher/acting agent/prospective employer. You are NOT whatever has happened or is happening to you. You know what you are?
You are an indomitable soul. You have massive reserves of inner strength that can and will see you through every storm and every challenge that come your way. I know it seems less than helpful being told that when you’re deep in despair and can’t seem to find your way out on your own, but that’s exactly why I’m telling you this right now.
You don’t have to do it on your own. You don’t have to carry your burden(s) all on your own. Reach out. Ask for help. If you try to seek help from those who can’t or won’t understand and belittle you instead, who distance themselves from you instead, let them go. It will hurt, yes, but let them go. There are so many other open hearts ready and willing to take you as you are even as they help you on your journey/transformation to more of who you could be.
Does this mean you’re lacking or deficient in some way? No, dear one. No. It just means you tried to do it all by yourself for far too long and now you need helping hands to support you as you find your way back to your self. Your true Self. Free from the suppressed emotions and the anger and the shame. Free from feeling unworthy and unwanted.
You are loved. You are seen and heard, and you are appreciated. People may not say it as often as they should, but that shouldn’t stop you from believing in the beauty of your unique spirit and lovable soul. Don’t let your past rob you of the blessings right in front of you.
You are loved. You are loved. You ARE loved. I love you. I may not know your name or your story, but I want you to be happy. I want you to be ecstatic and blissed-out and in harmony with your desires because that’s what life is all about: we’re here to live, and to glow, and to smile.
So the next time you feel yourself sinking under, please remember this:
Be calm. Be calm. Relax. Breathe. You can make it through this. You’ve already come this far. You’ve already come so far. Trust in yourself. Trust in God. Have faith. Have faith. Have faith to make it through the storm. Have faith to heal and bounce back stronger than ever before. You are strong enough to get through this. You have the fortitude to go through it.
And if you need something more personalised:
I am worthy. I am strong. I am indomitable. I am healed. I am loved. I am blessed. I am protected. I am abundantly creative. I am prolific. I am fierce. I am magnificent. I am free. I am free. I AM FREE.
It is my earnest hope and prayer that these words reach out to you and hug your heart. Even if you’re not experiencing any challenges with your health and/or emotions, please share them with anyone in your circle who might find some healing in them. Let them know that they don’t have to be alone and they don’t have to be afraid. They don’t have to give up and they don’t have to close off their hearts.
I know this is very different from my usual upbeat and smiley offerings, but I just felt this incredible urge to put these words on here. Maybe it’s because I needed to speak my truth. Maybe it’s because some of you needed to see an echo of your truth.
Whatever the case, my heart wouldn’t let me rest until I wrote this; all part of authenticity, don’tcha know?
Thank you for reading this to the end. How did it feel to stick with it? Did any of it resonate or have you nodding your head in recognition of something?
Don’t be shy; you can share it here! This is a safe space, remember? 😉 So come on down to the comments below and let ‘er rip!
I’ll be waiting to hear from you! Ciao, lovelies.
A piece that I think everyone can relate to if we are really truthful. Kudos for being brave enough to go on. I hope it inspires others to look forward all the time.
Thank you! I WAS scared that it might be too much information but the urge to reach out was greater than the fear not to. I’m so glad you read it all the way through and I also hope it moves others to do what they have to do.
That was gripping. I can relate. Thanks for writing this.
Sensei! You’re welcome. I had no choice BUT to write it. 🙂 I guess we really did need an echo of our truth, starting from one heart and fanning out to others. Thank you for reading.
I hear you Otiti and am glad that you had the courage to write this peice. Fighting your way to this point was not easy but YOU MADE IT! Kudos to you.
Thank you, my author. Couldn’t have made it without you by my side. 🙂
Otiti, I found you through the Hairy Edge blog and really enjoy your thoughts. I am finding so much courage and inspiration through blog entries when I can’t seem to stick with a “self-help” book.Thanks you!
You’re welcome, Sue!! I’m so glad you clicked through to my site and am thrilled you enjoyed your time here!
Ha ha, I know what you mean. Self-help books can be a little distant and hard to go through, right? Blog posts are shorter and sharper, I think. Then again, I’m biased. 😉
Thanks so much for stopping by! Feel free to come back often and share your thoughts some more, yeah? I loved hearing from you. 🙂